


Goodbye for Now

by roseyongs



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, I dunno what I wrote, JaeYong - Freeform, M/M, Promises, Sorry Not Sorry, Taeil is a nurse, What Else Do I Tag?, cancer problems, heart problems, jaeyong are so in love it hurts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-09
Updated: 2018-10-09
Packaged: 2019-07-28 16:24:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16245428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roseyongs/pseuds/roseyongs
Summary: It’s hard saying goodbye.╰☆☆ named after Kyuhyun's "Goodbye for Now" ☆☆╮





	Goodbye for Now

The walls were bare, white, pristine. Taeyong was so sick of staring at the same blank walls every day and every night. The door creaked open, and Taeyong didn't have to turn his head to know that it was Jaehyun. 

He heard a chair scrape along the floor before a soft sigh as the other male sat heavily in the chair. He dumped his bag on the floor loudly, startling Taeyong.

Uncomfortable silence settled over them, and Taeyong didn't want to turn and face the other male. His heart beat loudly, the heart monitor he was strapped to beeping loudly as his heart rate picked up.

He felt a warm, calloused hand grasping his own small, frail one. The thumb stroked gently over his knuckles, and he released a stuttered breath.

"Yong? What's wrong?" The male asked softly, his voice beautiful and calm. It soothed Taeyong's jittered nerves almost instantly, and the heart monitor's mercurial beeping slowed down. He stayed silent, his head still turned to stare out the window. 

Soft lips ghosted gently across Taeyong's knuckles, and he felt his throat constrict. He finally turned to look at Jaehyun, and he felt his weak heart swell. Jaehyun offered him a tender smile, cute dimples indented into his handsome cheeks. The tips of his ears were red, and he still held Taeyong's dainty hand to his red lips.

"Yong, what's wrong? You look a lot more dejected than usual." Jaehyun whispered, his breath tickling the skin of Taeyong's hand. Taeyong sighed softly, gently removing his hand from the taller male's. "Taeyong? Please talk to me."

A shuddering breath, "You..." he broke off, voice cracking, "...you know how we planned to go see the fireworks on New Year's Eve?" His voice was breaking, getting quieter as a sob crept up his throat. 

Jaehyun nodded, reaching out to grab at Taeyong's arm. "We're still going, Taeyong. We've planned this for months now—there's only a week left to go! The doctor said you'd be well enough to go!" His voice steadily rose, not liking Taeyong's demeanour one bit. His throat closed on his voice, almost choking on it. Tears pricked his eyes when his gaze caught sight of clear, diamond tears trailing down Taeyong's hallowed cheeks. "...right?"

Taeyong sobbed, bringing his knees to his chest and burying his face into the white sheets covering his legs. Jaehyun swallowed thickly, moving up off the chair and sitting on the bed beside the smaller male. He enveloped Taeyong into his arms, and in turn, the older male twisted and buried his face into the crook of Jaehyun's neck.

His tears dampened the collar of Jaehyun's shirt and drenched his skin, but he couldn't care less. He rubbed soothing circles into Taeyong's back, cradling the smaller male gently.

"Shh, shh, Taeyong," He hushed softly, looking up when the door was thrown open and Taeyong's nurse burst in. It was only now that Jaehyun noticed just how fast the heart monitor was beeping—and that was not safe for Taeyong's frail heart.

Taeil rushed over, tapping a few keys on the machine hooked up to Taeyong, anaesthetic coursing through the drip connected to the young male's hand. Slowly, the beeping slowed once again, and Taeyong's body fell limp in Jaehyun's arms. Jaehyun frowned sadly, pressing a chaste kiss to the other male's pale lips before gently lying him down.

He stood up from the bed and faced the small nurse with a sad frown. "Hyung," he greeted, and Taeil sighed softly. "...Taeyong said something about what we planned on New Year's Eve. What...what did he mean?" Jaehyun felt his own voice crack, already dreading what the shorter male was going to say.

Taeil sent him a disheartened look, averting his gaze. "His heart hasn't gotten any better, Jaehyun. If anything, he's grown weaker."

Jaehyun felt all the breath leave his lungs. Taeil smiled sadly, reaching out and resting his hand on Jaehyun's arm.

"I'm sorry, Jaehyun. You can't take him out, he's much too frail," he said softly, and Jaehyun turned back to look at the unconscious boy on the bed. 

"But..." he choked out, "...we planned this for so long. I promised him."

"Promises are made to be broken," Taeil whispered. "His family broke theirs. Yours are no different."

Jaehyun felt a stab of anger and hurt prick his heart. He knew Taeyong's family only paid for his treatment and never came to see him. If anything, they dropped him as soon Taeyong collapsed at school two years ago, resulting in him being bound to a bed.

"But Hyung...I'm different." He stuttered out, swallowing thickly. Taeil sighed deeply.

"Jaehyun, you can't take him out. That's final." Taeil said harshly before briskly leaving the bleak hospital room.

Jaehyun took one last longing glance at the beautiful boy in the bed before he grabbed his bag and walking drearily out of the room.

 

* * *

 

 

Jaehyun hushed Taeyong when the boy gasped awake in shock. He handed the smaller male a thick parka and denim jeans, causing Taeyong to shoot him a confused stare.

"Get dressed," Jaehyun whispered, excitement lacing his voice. He gently grasped Taeyong's hand, pulling the clear tape off the top of it. Taeyong grimaced, watching with wide eyes as Jaehyun carefully pulled the drip out from beneath Taeyong's skin. The older male flinched, and Jaehyun pressed a white patch to the small wound.

"Jaehyun, why?" Taeyong asked, reaching over to grab the denim jeans. Jaehyun helped Taeyong stand as the older pulled the loose pants onto his thin legs, all the while smiling with a cute dimpled smile.

"I'm taking you to see the fireworks." He beamed, assisting Taeyong with shrugging the huge, warm parka onto his slim shoulders. Taeyong stared at Jaehyun pointedly, and the younger just turned around and crouched down. "Hop on my back, I'm gonna carry you."

Taeyong smiled softly, climbing onto the younger's back. He wrapped his arms around Jaehyun's neck loosely, feeling the younger hoist him up with his large hands beneath his trembling thighs.

Jaehyun escaped from the hospital in a Mission Impossible-esque fashion, successfully sneaking Taeyong outside. The cool, winter air caressed Taeyong's body, and he buried himself deeply into Jaehyun's warmth, smiling broadly. It had been so long since he had felt the wind, felt the outside crisp air flow through his lungs. 

Jaehyun walked, hopped on a train, and walked again, for what seemed like forever, when the younger nudged a sleepy Taeyong. Taeyong looked up from where he had burrowed himself into the younger's neck to stare at the brilliant lights that lit up the dark night, strung up in the trees bare of foliage. The beautiful gold lights reflected in his eyes, and warmth bloomed in his chest as he clung tighter to Jaehyun. 

"It's beautiful," he breathed, his breath casting a small cloud of condensation in the cold air. Jaehyun twisted his neck so he could look at Taeyong from the corner of his eye. He was beaming brightly, and Taeyong thought his smile was brighter than the lights. Taeyong reached around and poked one of the boy's deep dimples, causing the younger to chuckle softly. 

"Says you, you're the most beautiful thing that's here tonight." Jaehyun whispered, lips brushing softly against Taeyong's cheek as it sat on the younger's broad shoulder. Taeyong flushed, cheeks burning. Jaehyun adjusted his hold on Taeyong's thighs before continuing to walk. "I have a special spot for us to sit to watch the fireworks."

Taeyong nodded, clinging Jaehyun tighter than before. Delicate snowflakes began to drift from the dark sky above, one falling and melting upon Taeyong's cheek. He looked up, doe eyes sparkling with the reflections of the golden lights.

After a few more minutes of walking, Jaehyun finally stopped. Taeyong was shivering, trying to bury himself deeper into Jaehyun when the younger gently slipped the older off his back. He carefully set Taeyong onto a park bench, before sitting beside him and wrapping an arm around his slim shoulders. Taeyong was pulled into Jaehyun's side, and he instantly melted and curled up into Jaehyun. He deeply inhaled Jaehyun's sweet scent and sighed softly. He curled his legs up underneath him, trying to stay as warm as possible.

"Taeyong, I'm glad you're here with me," Jaehyun whispered, twisting and burying his nose into Taeyong's brown hair. Taeyong smiled shyly, tilting his head up to stare the older male in the eye.

"I'm glad I'm here too. It's beautiful." He breathed, looking up at the sky, watching the snowflakes drift slowly to the ground. Jaehyun smiled softly, watching the older male with a tender gaze full of love. 

He gently placed his fingers under Taeyong's chin, tilting his face up to his. They inched closer, breaths mingling and puffing against each others' lips. Taeyong let his eyes flutter shut, reaching up and furling his fingers into the scruff of hair at the back of Jaehyun's neck. He pulled Jaehyun closer, pressing their lips together.

Jaehyun's red lips moulded against Taeyong's pink ones, arms wrapping tightly around Taeyong's narrowed waist to tug him closer. Their lips moved in sync, making soft, wet noises.

Loud bangs far above startled the two, making them jump apart from each other. They laughed, before turning their gazes to the sky. Beautiful, bright fireworks lit up the black sky, bursting in loud and auroral bursts. The glittery flames would flutter down like rain, before more would whistle up, blast, and light up the sky once again.

Taeyong and Jaehyun shuffled together again, and as Jaehyun's gaze was solely directed on the stunning display of fireworks, Taeyong's attention was on the surreal boy beside him. He felt tears prick at his eyes as he gazed at Jaehyun with overflowing love and endearment.

Jaehyun meant the world to him. He was the most pure, stunning and ethereal boy he had ever known, and to him, it was a privilege to fall in love with such a charming boy. And for that enticing boy to love him back—it was euphoric. It fuelled his weak heart to keep beating, for him to keep living.

For _him_.

Once the fireworks were over, Jaehyun once again hoisted Taeyong onto his back and began the long walk home. The snow was falling quicker, and Taeyong was shivering. He huddled closer to Jaehyun, his breath laboured as it left his lungs.

"Hey Jaehyun," he whispered, voice hoarse.

"Hm?" Jaehyun asked, cheery.

"Thank you for everything." Taeyong mumbled, squeezing him tightly.

"Of course Taeyong!" Jaehyun gushed, looking up at the cloudy sky. "This is only the beginning. When you're out of hospital, I'll take you on so many dates and buy you everything you want. You'll be happy. I'll make you happy, like you deserve." His voice lowered, his heart fluttering at the thoughts of spoiling Taeyong. He smiled fondly, hands tightening their hold around Taeyong's legs. 

"You...already made me so happy," Taeyong mumbled softly, voice almost inaudible. "The happiest person in the world." He smiled weakly, his hold loosening around Jaehyun's neck. "I love you. Forever." 

"I love you too, Taeyong." Jaehyun beamed, proud that he made the love of his life happy. He continued to yap and gush about the future, but Taeyong was quiet. Jaehyun just figured he was asleep. 

They boarded the train bound for the hospital, and Jaehyun set a limp Taeyong beside him and gently rested his head on his shoulder. He continued to talk, holding Taeyong's cold hand. He still remained motionless.

Someone sitting across from Jaehyun and Taeyong froze, staring at the asleep older male in shock. Jaehyun looked at him, frowning.

"What are you looking at?" Jaehyun asked, a little irritated to as why someone was staring at Taeyong.

The man pointed at Taeyong, "I-is he breathing?"

Jaehyun felt all the air deflate from his lungs. He twisted in his seat, moving the thick parka hood from concealing Taeyong's face. The boy was limp and cold, skin white and like ice. Jaehyun shook Taeyong, screaming his name in a panic. The man rushed over to Jaehyun, trying to calm him down, but anxiety had already consumed the young male.

Taeyong just shook like a rag doll in Jaehyun's arms, head lolling back. His eyes were closed gently, eyelashes casting delicate shadows across his white and hallowed cheeks. His lips were pale, pressed lightly together.

He died peacefully.

Jaehyun screamed, hugging the boy's body tightly, sobbing into the crook of Taeyong's cold, cold neck. No pulse beat beneath the skin. No warmth radiated from Taeyong. He was gone.

Jaehyun realised it was his fault. Taeil had warned him not to take Taeyong out—but he did anyway. He killed the love of his life. The one who meant most to him.

He was never going to see Taeyong's smile again. Nor hear his laugh. He'll never get to talk to him again, never watch the boy sleep at the hospital.

He'll never get to take Taeyong out on anymore dates. He'll never get to spoil Taeyong rotten with gifts and kisses.

He'll never get to hold Taeyong again. He'll never get to kiss Taeyong again.

He sobbed uncontrollably, clutching Taeyong's body in his embrace, scared to let go. He didn't want to let go. He didn't want to say goodbye. 

_Even though Taeyong said his farewells long ago._

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you cry at this cause it made me cry. :) 
> 
> This story was inspired by Angel Beats. Well, the fate of Ootonashi’s little sister anyway. 
> 
> I’m a horrible human being. :”)


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